The NFL’s Ten Worst Off-Seasons
Published by Dan Boone on June 10, 2010
Article Source: Bleacher Report - Chicago Bears
Some teams seem to have eternally bad off-seasons and constantly terrible regular seasons.
Maybe the Saints singing their victory song will change all that.
Maybe the sad song for some teams will not remain the same.
A new day might dawn in Detroit or maybe Al Davis, like Arthur in Excalibur, will emerge from his slumber and conquer the NFL one, last time.
Sadly some teams seem to like the song staying bad. It may make fans mad but it makes teams money.
In a cap less season some teams are looking to save by staying below the old salary floor. If your a Jaguar, Bill or a Panther fan it might seem another long season.
1] Buffalo Bills
The Bills brought in another running back but with their bad offensive line still the same they could pull OJ Simpson and Thurman Thomas from a Hot Wing Time Machine and still be bad.
The New York Jets are gearing up for a Super Bowl run, the Miami Dolphins are quietly developing into a Bill Parcell’s quality club, and the New England Patriots are still dangerous but the Bills seem to be seeking to salvage some cash while sinking the season.
Maybe Ralph Wilson would rather leave his cash to his grand kids instead of potential free agents.
Who can blame him because when Wilson passes away the Bills could be Toronto bound. Until then its lay low and save cash.
Except, of course, if your a paying ticket holder.
2] Jacksonville Jaguars
The Jags drafted defensive linemen, bagged a Raider linebacker, and brought in a Green Bay Packer defender with a bad wheel.
The Jags fans still have cranky Jack Del Rio, his boring offense, and below average quarterback to look forward to this season.
Which ought to be enough to put ten thousand or so Florida fans in the stands this fall.
LA Jaguars anyone?
Only if they can beat the Vikings in the race to the coast because for a few teams in dwindling markets it might be live in LA or die.
3] Albert Haynesworth
Haynesworth hating will be at an all time high when he wobbles onto the field and flops over for his first of many injury rests this season.
Last year he made thirty two million bucks for twenty nine tackles and one sack of a stripper.
Fat Albert, currently moaning about a move from defensive tackle to nose tackle and his sacked stripper suit, may end up the most hated player of all time by Redskin fans.
Hog faithful may end up hating Haynesworth more than Roger Staubach, Buddy Ryan, and Lawrence Taylor combined.
Danny Snyder has created a lot of bad karma in the Beltway so it seems sweet schadenfreude that somehow Snyder and Haynesworth have finally found each other.
Perhaps they can sing “I Got You Babe ” before each home game.
4] Carolina Panthers
The Panthers took the pay less plunge in the off season by slashing high priced players and preparing to play a season without a proven quarterback.
Some owners will view a salary floor less year as a season to go to ground and save pounds of cash.
The Panthers might just be taking a season off before they say farewell to John Fox and reinvent their team. Fox looks like he is heading to a hole himself this season.
Of course the Panthers could still be shell shocked after they paid guaranteed millions to Jake Delhomme for just one sour season.
5] Cleveland Browns
Jake Delhomme has been a horrid quarterback but a brilliant businessman the last few seasons.
The crafty Cajun has collected close to twenty million in cold cash between Cleveland and Carolina the last two seasons.
The Browns best defensive player, the always angry Shaun Rogers, got caught carrying a loaded heater in an airport this off-season.
Rogers is 360 pounds so he must of been expecting some serious hand to hand plane combat.
Still they have the always exciting Eric Mangini to fill the stadium with frothing fans while bringing home his usual three or four wins.
Eric Mangini is the worst of the always angry, but boring coach bots that seem to be sweeping the league.
Which is why Rex Ryan is a big, boisterous breath of fresh air.
I mean How many angry, but boring, coach bots can fans and teams take?
6] Big Ben
The Steelers should hire the Cool Hand Luke Boss Man guard, the mean one in the shiny black shades, to watch the randy Roethlisberger every time he uses a ladies restroom.
Shaking the bush , Boss. Shaking the bush.
And maybe the guard’s shotgun would stop the mauling.
One more Big Ben boo boo and he will be enjoying blustery winters behind a bad line in Buffalo or sizzling summers on a Georgia chain gang.
7] Chicago Bears
Some love Lovie’s Smith sensational off season.
Some, like Gale Sayers, see a team with a still bad offensive line, scatter shot wide receivers, a defense in decline, and a general lack of direction and talent.
Some say playoffs, I say six or seven wins in the City of Capone.
And look for Lovie, his staff, and the brain trust to be treated, at long last, like the Bugs Moran gang on Valentines Day in Chicago.
8] Denver Broncos
Josh McDaniels has torn down the Denver Broncos, but if his hand picked players don’t produce the way the traded stars did the Wonder Boy will be whizzed out of town.
The Bronco’s best linemen blew out his knee playing basketball, the starting quarterback was again a trade whisper, the league’s best receiver was sent south, and the teams best tight was exiled to Motown.
It’s a fine line between Bronco boy wonder and Bronco boy blunder.
And having Tim Tebow, the most famous white Bronco since OJ’s, won’t change that.
9] Johnny Jolly
The loss of Johnny Jolly to drug charges will lessen the Packer pass rush.
Still can’t a man with a moniker that sounds like a seventies punk master or a mean Quentin Tarantino character catch a break?
Can’t Johnny Jolly just be jolly?
It’s bad ju ju for the league to have a jaded Johnny Jolly.
10] Hank Baskett
Bumbling the Super Bowl on side kick ball was bad, finding out his wife Kendra made a sex tape was worse, but finding out she made multiple sex tapes must have made for a really relaxing locker room.
Lets hope for Hank’s sake the next tape leaked isn’t called Kendra Tackles the Chargers.
Though maybe Hank can make some money singing an old Warren Zevon song, every sex tape needs a soundtrack, and dedicating it to Mrs Baskett.
My baby is a basket case
A bipolar mama in leather and lace
Face like an angel–she’s a perfect waste
My baby is a basket case
Dracula’s daughter, Calamity Jane
Smoke on the water, water on the brain
She’s pretty as a picture–and totally crazed
My baby is a basket case
She’s gonna make a madman outta me
She’s gonna make a madman outta me
Read more Chicago Bears news on BleacherReport.com
